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The journal

Water

I almost stayed home

The water at Cosy Bay was twelve degrees, and for the first ten minutes that was all I could think about.

There was more swell than I'd expected. Visibility was three, maybe four metres. The reef starts around ten metres down, so there's a stretch of cold, green water between you and the bottom.

My first drop, I thought about nothing but the cold. It took my body about ten minutes to settle, and my first few dives were short. I wasn't really diving. I was bracing. Waiting to get out.

Then it shifted. I stopped thinking, and started diving calmly. On the way down I focused on just dropping. Not swimming, not spending energy to get down, just falling. And I went deeper. I was more present. The cold was still there. It just wasn't the loudest thing anymore.

If you want to try cold-water freediving somewhere like Cosy Bay, three honest things:

I've been in my head a lot lately, and I could have easily stayed home. But on the drive back over Chapman's Peak, cold and salty, I felt content. Satisfied. More than I had in a while.

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